If Menopause Could Talk…

I’m sorry she kept you awake last night, tossing and turning. It was hot, wasn’t it? I’m sorry she’s scared of her phone. Social Media used to be fun. I’m sorry she's yawning. She's not bored, just dog tired. I’m sorry she sent the wrong email. That’s not like her at all. I’m sorry she... Continue Reading →

Ungentlemanly Behaviour

Common Courtesy Should be Gender Non-Specific I find the term ‘gentleman’ perfect and ridiculous in equal measure. It’s perfect because the word consists of ‘gentle’ and ‘man’, and who doesn’t want some of that in their lives? The dictionary definition sounds great: ‘A chivalrous, courteous, or honourable man.’   Interestingly, the dictionary definition of gentlewoman... Continue Reading →

I Claim my Mid-Life Crisis

If men can have one, so can I I was a precocious child. This is evidenced by the fact I entered a Public Speaking Competition at the age of thirteen with a speech about ‘The Male Menopause’. I was robbed; I came second, despite my talk rousing the audience to guffaws and standing ovation (at... Continue Reading →

I Hate my Husband for Being Thin

Should Menopausal Women’s Husbands be Allowed to be Slim? My husband is thin, I am not, and I hate him for it. We weren’t always like Jack Sprat and his portly wife; in our twenties we were both slim, then in the next decade we took turns at piling on the pounds. He drank and snacked... Continue Reading →

Manslam — Women Fight Back

I have just been forced off a pavement by a man. He didn’t barge or shove me, in fact I’m almost certain he didn’t have a clue that I was manoeuvred onto the grass verge because of his presumed ownership of the entire pavement. His obliviousness astonished me. I was taking my first tentative outside... Continue Reading →

I’m Shouting About the Menopause

Will You Yell Back? My daughter calls the menopause ‘Old Lady Puberty’ and she’s right. It’s an inevitable change to the female body, which impacts women as enormously as when they first forayed into shuttlecock nipples and bloodied underwear. The effect of the menopause is so universal that it’s the whispered topic of every conversation between... Continue Reading →

My Midlife Crisis Bra

Can It Stop Me From Becoming Invisible? I have bought a new bra. It‘s red and lacy, and I think it signals a crisis of confidence. The world tells me I’m at an age where I should be becoming invisible, and I think my dazzling new bra may be a cry for help. I’m no... Continue Reading →

Newly Single Women Beware

Newly Single Women Beware Charm is the mask of the Controlling Man An intentionally charming man is like a hungry wolf. He will stalk his prey and pounce when they are at their weakest. I think I’m immune to charm. Instead of melting at smooth words, gentle touches on the elbow and prolonged smiles, I... Continue Reading →

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