WhatsApp With You?

The School WhatsApp group was new to me when my youngest started secondary school and it’s been a revelation. Five months in and I think I’ve got the handle on what’s useful and what’s utterly bonkers about letting a group of disparate parents loose with an unlimited communication tool. As in all walks of life,... Continue Reading →

Fifty Years in the Making

I am fifty-years-old and I feel I have been reduced, but not in the way you might think. I have simmered for five decades and I think, at last, I have achieved my desired concentration. I am thick (waist-wise, anyway), rich (in every way that matters) and, even if I do say it myself, really... Continue Reading →

Mortality Bites

I woke up last night with an intense awareness of my mortality. Have you ever felt that existential dread; hard and shiny as a car bonnet careering for your head? I used to feel it as a child, the sudden and suffocating knowledge that I was alive, in this time, in this fragile, terrifyingly mortal... Continue Reading →

Not-So-Silent Protest

The Sounds of the Middle-Aged Body As I followed the physiotherapist’s instructions to bend my neck to the right, I heard the sound of bubble wrap popping inside my body. ‘Is that normal?’ I asked. ‘Our bodies make all kinds of protests as we get older,’ the man-child said, and asked me to bend the... Continue Reading →

My Body is a Wild Thing

You’ve heard of lady bumps, right? They appear in girls around the age of puberty and are generally welcomed, until you get used to them, when they become cumbersome and annoying. I’ve just returned from the Doctor’s where I discovered that, now I’m firmly into old lady puberty (the menopause) I’m getting old person bumps... Continue Reading →

A Modern Day Bottom Drawer

Whilst reading a novel set in the 1920’s, I came across the phrase her bottom drawer and I remembered my Grandma telling me about what a girl should collect for her bottom drawer in preparation for married life. Traditionally a woman would accumulate linen, clothing, cutlery etc. The bottom drawer was either a literal or... Continue Reading →

Has their Beauty Made me a Beast?

Is it ok to be jealous of my beautiful daughters? I am getting old. My daughters are not. Yes, I understand the whole cycle of life thing, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. The human body has built-in obsolescence and it pisses me right off. Whilst I am drying up and drooping,... Continue Reading →

In Praise of my Slippers

I’ve had every kind of slipper Sexy leopard print to black I’ve loved them all with passion ‘Cos my slippers have my back * Shoes can be disloyal They will rub and pinch and nip They make your gait uneven Like they mean for you to trip * You don’t get that with slippers They... Continue Reading →

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