Welcome to my site. Have a root around, I hope you like what you find.
I’m sorry she kept you awake last night, tossing and turning. It was hot, wasn’t it? I’m sorry she’s scared of her phone. Social Media used to be fun. I’m sorry she's yawning. She's not bored, just dog tired. I’m sorry she sent the wrong email. That’s not like her at all. I’m sorry she... Continue Reading →
You’ve heard of lady bumps, right? They appear in girls around the age of puberty and are generally welcomed, until you get used to them, when they become cumbersome and annoying. I’ve just returned from the Doctor’s where I discovered that, now I’m firmly into old lady puberty (the menopause) I’m getting old person bumps... Continue Reading →
There was a time when middle-aged women would melt into the shadows. Many would adjust their elasticated skirts, sit down in the darkest corner of the room and watch men continue to perform in the sunshine. Folding their hands in their laps, they closed their mouths and let the next generation turn their faces to... Continue Reading →
If men can have one, so can I I was a precocious child. This is evidenced by the fact I entered a Public Speaking Competition at the age of thirteen with a speech about ‘The Male Menopause’. I was robbed; I came second, despite my talk rousing the audience to guffaws and standing ovation (at... Continue Reading →
Should Menopausal Women’s Husbands be Allowed to be Slim? My husband is thin, I am not, and I hate him for it. We weren’t always like Jack Sprat and his portly wife; in our twenties we were both slim, then in the next decade we took turns at piling on the pounds. He drank and snacked... Continue Reading →
Will You Yell Back? My daughter calls the menopause ‘Old Lady Puberty’ and she’s right. It’s an inevitable change to the female body, which impacts women as enormously as when they first forayed into shuttlecock nipples and bloodied underwear. The effect of the menopause is so universal that it’s the whispered topic of every conversation between... Continue Reading →
The Everyday Reminders of Our Age When I last went to the dentist, he suggested I had a set of X-Rays. As he moved the machine towards my head, I asked whether he was going to check if I might be pregnant first. He sighed and said, ‘If it will make you feel better.’ His presumption... Continue Reading →
Lisa Timoney Writes 